My Africa Revelation!

Last night I was sharing some of my testimony with a circle of friends. Part of my story speaks of how I was neglected as a child and I didn’t have parents who sought me. No one ever asked me what my dreams or passions were. My mom, dad and sister lived in the same house for my first fifteen years, but no body communicated with any body. I wasn’t disciplined and lived my childhood thinking no body loved me.

After sharing my testimony my friend asked me what some of my passions were and I joyfully shared that my heart bleeds for the children of Africa. I was asked if I knew what country in Africa the Lord had burdened me with and after saying no I emphasized the burden I have for the children. I told them my desires to just love them. I want to go to the villages and hug them, for as long as they want hugged. I want to be a safe place for them to cuddle, and cry, for as long as they need to. I want to cry with them and tell them that it is going to be all right. I want to kiss their foreheads and embrace them with the power of human touch. My motive is love, that’s it.

At this point, last night, God had not given me the reason for having the burden for the children of Africa. I just knew I had the passion to love them… but when I got around to sharing that part of the desire God gave me the greatest revelation! He wants to demonstrate the power of His redemption (how He restored the years the locusts had eaten with HIS love, in other words, the 20+ years I personally was robbed of human love) and use my broken, desolate life as a child as a vessel of outpouring His love to currently orphaned children (and I use that term lightly, meaning not necessarily "orphaned", but neglected as well). Aaaaaaah, Hallelujiah! Listen to this verse in Romans that God spoke to me!

"I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth..."
-Romans 9:17 (NIV)

The majority of African children are orphans and have no parents to love them or speak into their lives. Even though I had parents I felt like an abandoned orphan, until I was wrapped up in my Father’s arms and loved so much I didn’t even know how to receive it all! So who better to minister the love of Christ to orphaned children in Africa then a previously broken orphan herself?
It ALL makes sense, now!!!!!! Hallelujiah!!!!!!

The truth

Can I be raw and simplistic for a moment...

I was reading the story of David and Goliath this morning and all of a sudden I realized something. I don't have to have all the bronze armor that Goliath did, be 9 feet tall and super muscular (I imagine he was), and have all the "gear" for God to use me.

"But... why do you use me, Lord?" I found myself asking. "Why does it seem like I see You more than most people do? Why do I tremble at the thought of You when others don't? Why do my eyes suddently fill with tears, in the middle of class, when I think of what you have done?"

The questions kept coming... "Why do you answer me so quickly? Why do You and I have full-blown conversations when most people say they can never hear You?"

I guess they are pretty similiar to David's thoughts in his prayer (which I absolutely love). I think it amazes me so much because I ask these questions every day. . .
"Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? And as if this were not enough in your sight, O Sovereign Lord, you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant. Is this your usual way of dealing with man, O Sovereign Lord? What more can David say to you? For you know your servant, O Sovereign Lord. for the sake of your word and according to your will, you have done this great thing and made it known to your servant." (2 Samuel 7:18-21, NIV)

One of the thoughts I so often ponder is why God choses me, a 3-yr baby in the Lord, of all people, to draw so many people to Himself. I can't understand it. But today it all became clear. God told me He uses me because I have a heart like David's.

So I reflected on that for a while and allowed 1 Samuel 16:7 to sink in...
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

Some other things have been on my mind lately and the Lord reminded me of this simple understanding that I tend to sometimes forget:
I don't have to know how to play every sport or even participate in every sport if I don't like it and I certainly don't have to be good at everything. I don't even have to love what every one else loves. All I simply need to do is keep being me. Silly, sometimes purposefully immature and over the top, but oh so passionate-for-Jesus me. Just continuing to love Who I love is enough. And that love is what God will use.