From Trials to Thanks-giving

If nothing else this Thanksgiving, be thankful for the person you are becoming. Every day is a new day, with new mercies. The work being done in you is far more precious than any material thing because it offers hope to the hopeless. Your purpose in life involves experiencing trials of many kinds. You can't escape trouble and trials, so learn to embrace them.

I am truly thankful for what has seemed to be the hardest year of my LIFE. Moving here was a tremendous step of faith, but staying here has proven a much longer road of faith than I ever imagined. Everything I ever dreamed of is in my fingertips and in front of my face, and more than anything, the enemy wants to slip it out underneath my feet. I’ve been forced to cling, grasp and hold tight to Jesus in every area of my life, battling spiritual warfare and life’s frustrations left and right, but I gotta tell ya, it’s all been worth it. I’m eternally grateful that this past year was far from a waste; it has caused ME to die and Him to live, and the production of fruit that I can’t see. Most importantly, this past year has revealed God’s endless pursuit of ME. And to the Almighty Creator of the world to reveal His pursuing love to little ‘ol me, I am thankful beyond words.

Within the past four months, after serving in Africa for two weeks on a missions trip, God stripped me of EVERYthing—money, school, housing, work, health, car etc. I was nearly homeless, slept on an air mattress for three months after finding an apartment complex that would accept a jobless 23-yr old single woman, ate food from the Dollar Tree, couldn’t find a job for the life of me (I even got denied a serving job at Crackerbarrel b/c I didn’t give a two week notice when I left there four years ago…talk about humbling), got sick and couldn’t afford medications or doctor visits, all the while seeming to have every one of my friends fall off the face of the Earth. All of this on top of a girl who has paid every single bill she’s ever had weeks in advance, worked her butt off to be an A/B student, labored wholeheartedly and to the best of her ability, and was a health NUT. I was a good steward of everything I had, and for a couple weeks, couldn’t figure out why nothing favorable was coming my way.

But somehow, miraculously, my bills got paid (bills that were supposed to normally be due were miraculously not), people invited me to their home for dinner without even knowing my situation, I was offered some side jobs to make cash while I was still job hunting, and after praying for my sick self experienced healing. I lacked materially and didn’t have a thing to my name, but I never lacked spiritually. Some days were more exciting spiritually, some were extremely dry. But knowing Jesus, I knew I never lacked any good thing.

Some days I was secure, some I was incredibly discouraged and would just fall over weeping. I didn’t have a clue what God was doing in my life, but I knew I could use this dry season to learn something about myself and my God, so every day I continued to declare His love, goodness and faithfulness. I kept eternal eyes and was determined to not allow the enemy to have any room to enter this walking storehouse of redemption!

A few weeks into my job search, I asked God to “cause my resume to POP” (because I know it’s not that good haha) to someone and use that to confirm where He wants me to work. Two months later, I got a phone call from an owner of a million-dollar production company nearby. I responded to a part time ad on Craigs list a week prior for A/P and A/R since I have experience and needed SOMEthing (I don’t like accounting, but I have skills in it). I accidently sent him the wrong resume—I sent him my Regent resume with a Christian Objective—and he called me right away because he said my resume “popped” out at him. God has given me much favor with this man; He thinks I’m the next best thing to sliced bread, and for this job b/c of my lack of experience, I’m really not! He’s a Christian, too, and has been personal friends with the Robertsons for 30 years (who are the founders of the University God called me to attend last year, and who are technically the reason I am in Virginia Beach), and works in the field I studied in! Not only did I start out doing Accounting work, but a week later became a virtual model for our Online Website Advertising (which has potential to make a LOT of money), and a Production Assistant helping to write scripts for music on-hold. Hopefully soon, I will be traveling the United States promoting our products and doing business development. He and I have many of the same contacts through Regent and CBN, and have a great work chemistry. He pays me more than I really deserve to have b/c of my lack of experience, and gives me the best hours. He and his wife treat me like their daughter. I never expected to have it this good… God certainly created a divine connection between us.

Things were starting to look up, then normal, everyday annoyances kicked in and I experienced endless frustrations with moving furniture from PA to VA, washer floods, cable/internet rewiring in my apt and the ministry responsibilities I was juggling… I won't go into them since I've already got a book going, but if you ask me, I’ve got a million more testimonies of how God has proven over and over again through these frustrations that He is the God of the 11th hour!!! When I was about to break, He interceded and miraculously things worked. His presence has been so tangible, and His work evidence of His intimate and powerful responses to the “little things” in my life.

You cannot tell me that God did not provide for me each and every time I was “without”… and you cannot tell me that God doesn’t care about “little things”! I never once slept in the streets. Clothes were on my back. A car was available to drive. Food was in my belly. I was in relationship with God’s people… but most importantly, I knew my Savior and King, who first care-fully closed many doors and later opened many more.

God had me in a season where I was forced to rely strictly upon Him. I couldn’t rely on myself because I knew I couldn’t "fix it"; I couldn’t rely on people because for the most part, they weren’t there; and I certainly couldn’t rely on my circumstances to pull me out because I knew they were not what defined me. Literately, all I had was Jesus, and He was far more to me than anything or anyone else could have been. If I didn’t practice His presence sitting in my bare living room, I would NOT have made it through these past few months. Once again, He pulled me out of the pit, and is taking me on another ride to experience the palace.

A few years ago, I learned to stop asking “what”, “why”, and “how”; it is not my business to know what God is doing, why He’s doing it, and how it’s going to change me. His ways and thoughts are higher than mine. He knows me far better than I could ever know myself, so I’ll leave that stuff up to Him. All I know is that I long to be a mirror image of Jesus Christ, and I’ll do whatever it takes and walk through whatever I have to if it makes me more like Him. He is perfection, and while I’ll never be that, I strive to be more Christlike every day. And I acknowledge that I can’t be Christlike if I never experience trials…aka pain and suffering.

I've served homeless people who live with absolutely nothing, but I've never actually been able to say "I've been there, and look what Jesus did!" It's one thing to receive time from someone, but another to receive a story that's absolutely relatable, in every sense of the word. I'm glad this past four months is finally over, and that the Father rewards those who seek Him. The joy of knowing God is getting closer to completing the greatest work ever in me is inexpressible. One minute I'm bauling because I'm so thankful for what He has accomplished in me, and the next I'm dancing wherever my feet fall and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much because I'm THAT excited that I didn't give up and Jesus didn't give up on me. I feel like you would if you just won the Turkey Trot after training for three years.

I have learned that God can do more, faster, in a heart that is surrendered, listening, and willing to walk the walk rather than just talk the talk. I believe the key is to be purposeful in recognizing His absolute GREATness and GOODness in those trials, and that He has purpose in them. I don't believe that God needs to take as much time with us as He did with Job, if we could only internalize what He's doing behind the scenes and agree with His work. Your circumstances may seem like He’s not in them, but He truly is. You have to understand that what He’s accomplishing in and through you during those trials is the production of fruit that will influence someone else’s life. You were not created for yourself, but to worship God and be His hands and feet in the Earth, especially to the lost... you are on a lifelong journey to learn how to love like He loves, and live like He lived. That requires a mighty sacrifice of your comfort.

Make the choice to let God do His work. You can’t get to step B until you've gone through Step A. Be patient with God and yourself, and let Him do what only He can do. God plans to use you to reach the brokenhearted, so let Him do what He needs to do for you to be a part of that plan. You may never have the privlege of seeing or understanding the fruit and perseverance that is produced in you during your trials, but others will. And your life exists because of it.

Have you been in a dry season? Have you been confused and frustrated? Have you wondered why it seems God has abandoned you? Have you been lonely and wondered why everyone in the world has seemed to leave you? Take heart. Whatever your situation, God is IN it, and His heart is for you to grow and conform to His image through it.

Release your heartache, it’s okay! Many of our heroes in the Bible have experienced persecution and tremendous trials in every day life, and have wept before the Lord, wondering, waiting, angry by frustration. Don’t just give God a fragment of your weight and tears; give Him ALL of them. Every tear is counted by Him; He wants to capture you in the midst of your pain, lift every burden to show His presence in your life, utilize your surrendered heart, and continue preparing you for your next season. Don’t give up on Him! Let HIM have the last say in your circumstances; He’s waiting to blow you away! Don’t disqualify yourself from winning the Prize… Your Father is cheering you on, and He’s also awaiting you at the finish line.