My broken heart

I don't know about you, but when I ask for something intentional that will draw me closer to the heart of God, I get it. And I get it fast.

For the past two years my biggest prayer has been, "Lord break my heart for what breaks yours"...
Not long after I prayed that I found myself weeping over the salvation of my immediate family, the children of Africa, the battlecry generation, and neglected children in general. My heart isn't just that God's Kingdom come and His will be done especially in these areas, but it's also to be so knit together with Him that when He cries for them I do, too. And to know that when I cry He does, too.

If there is one thing I've come to a sure knowledge of about God it's that He desires us to be so closely linked with Him that no key, saw or hammer can break the chain we have with Him. No amount of pressure could destroy the intimacy we have with Him. Regardless of pain, trials, and circumstances we can still know and have the heart of the living God and draw close to it even when our own heart seems to be already broken. The comfort is knowing His heart breaks for things just like ours does and that we can identify with Him. If we're willing to trust Him to work out our brokenness He can give us His.

When He quickly answered my prayer He wasn't messing around. I was sincere and so was He. So I'm not boo-hoo talking here. I'm talking as low as I can get, face to the floor, weeping so hard that I can barely move kind of heart breaking. There's no way I could ever make up the kind of pain my heart feels for what it does. All I know is that I count it a privledge to carry this portion in my heart.

Sure it hurts, in fact, it pierces my soul in ways I could never explain, but I have the honor of being so close to my Maker that I feel what He feels and know what He knows. His secrets are safe with me and mine are safe with Him. Sure everything in me wants to see my family jump up and down with joy, hop on a plane to Africa and wrap my arms around and forever hold those precious little ones, have conversations everyday with youth, and constantly play with and hug children everywhere I turn, but as I wait upon the Lord for His direction and provision to move in a few of these areas, I enjoy the closeness I share with Him.

I don't share this to say God isn't the Mighty One who doesn't rescue those who are hurting and in need. He does. But usually He does it in a unique fashion that pulls you and I into the divine mix. It develops us, equips us, transforms us and trains us for battle. And heck, for an opportunity to be THAT close with Him, and to plead with Him for His own heartache, you better believe I'll take His pain over my satisfaction.

Give this one a shot. Ask the Lord to break your heart for what breaks His. Be ready for a breathtaking movement in your heart and use it to draw closer to Him while you plead for it. He'll stir things in you that you never thought could be stirred and He'll mess you up in ways you never thought imaginable... but be encouraged. You'll get to know Him in ways you thought were impossible!