Stricken with love

11-9-07 12:47pm
Here I sit at Panera trying to read the few books I have to read for class, but I can’t concentrate. I never can. I can’t stop thinking about my Prince.

Who am I? Who am I that He rescued me? Who am I to deserve what He offers? I fiercely question, WHO AM I?!

I am in awe… He chose to think of ME. He chooses to spend time with ME. He chooses to love ME. He chose ME before the creation of the world. He knew the day I was born. He was there. And He’s here now. And all I can do is let my chin shake, with a tear rolling down my cheek as I struggle yet again to explain in words what I know and feel when I think of Him.

I’m replaying “Offering” by Third Day over and over again, and as I sit in my cozy booth in the corner near the door, feeling the chilled fall breeze as the door opens and closes, my eyes flood with tears… so much that I can barely see through my glasses as I type this. I am overwhelmed by God’s presence, His character, His nature…

He didn’t have to die on the cross for me. He didn’t! But He did… I write this gazing, staring out the window at the tree whose leaves are about to fall, thinking of the One man who has ever loved me enough to sacrifice His life for me so that I could know Him.

This I will never understand, but will always be thankful for.

I will never get enough of Him. I can never be satisfied without Him every breathing moment. When He tells me He dwells here, I melt. When He tells me He’s sent His angels to encamp around me, I quiver with joy. When I see Him smiling over me I cuddle to the closest material thing and stay there, in hopes of feeling His real, yet intangible touch, while hiding my face in humility, only to moments later lift my head and smile joyfully.

The littlest things He does and reminds me of capture me. All it takes is seeing His face and I’m a goner-stuck to His heart like a magnet on a refrigerator. When He reaches for my arms and pulls me close I can’t help but feel the warmth of His breath and touch. My Hero is closer than He sometimes seems.

That’s it. I have nothing to offer other than my love in return. I have more love than I could ever know what to do with, but I want more. Father, stay. I tremble when You’re near. Let me never forget Your love. I love spending my days with You. You are my Prince. Stay and study with me. I love You.