Loving who I am and loving what I love

I am learning more and more that I love who I am and love what I love for a purpose. When I was younger I learned that my name means “warrior”, and just recently I learned that it represents “nature” and “woods”. Wow, does any body else agree that that makes A LOT of sense? I can tell you that I certainly am a warrior who loves nature and the woods.

The warrior is evident because I’ve never been one to give up, or give in. When I’m faced with circumstances beyond my control I press in believing for my breakthrough. I seek for the things my heart desires, and I usually get them, in due season. I’ve always enjoyed a little argument, for the sake of personal growth; somehow quarrelsome conversation has always intrigued me. My vision for the future is rooted in a solid understanding that “I CAN do it”, and I refuse to be set back by physical or emotional pain. No one has ever been able to burn my light of hope, and what I believe rests firmly on the Truth that’s been revealed to me. The "nature" and "woods" comes out in me when I remember that the woods was often a place I retreated to, and still is, for clarity and sheer enjoyment. And for me, to experience everything nature has to offer from animals, insects and a moonlit sky to hiking and biking the rough terrains of the outdoors, is to fully experience this roller coaster ride called life.

It’s rare that I experience jealousy and you’d have to write on your calendar if I ever blushed. It takes a lot for me to be offended at someone who teases me. Not a person in the world could convince me that I am worthless, and when I take a stand on something I’ll be the first to share my opinion. When you hurt me you’ll know it right away, and when I’m supposed to be in bed recovering from sickness or surgery I’ll do everything I can instead of resting because I hate not being able to enjoy every day the way I want to. I hate when people patronize me and others, and if you do it, I’ll confront you in a heartbeat.

Now, regardless of how many others jump on my “loving-life-this-way” band wagon, here’s to understanding that what I love is GOOD, and why I love what I do is GOOD:
Not many people call driving in an old, beat up, pick up truck on a dirt road in the country, with my hair blowing in my face “fun”, but it’s fun to me. Hardly any one I know likes to be outdoors as much as I do. It’s rare to find people who will spontaneously go on a road trip with me. I’d be lucky to find one soul who will listen to country music with me and actually like it. Very few people appreciate the Discovery channel and Animal Planet like I do. I have yet to find people who dream like I do. I’d rather lie in the grass and watch the stars, or read or write, then watch a movie. I like to spend my free time in the woods. Hiking, biking, and running are in my top 5 list of favorite things to do. And to be brutally honest, I would rather travel 100 miles to feed the ducks at the lake than watch a game of football that I was never taught to understand. Basketball may not be my strongest sport, nor is hockey, just as much as painting and drawing are not my artistic gifts. I know as much about skiing and snowboarding as I do how to fix a car or cook a gourmet meal. But among the many traits and abilities I WAS given, I can probably make you laugh (even if it’s at my own expense), inspire you with my life story, give you secrets on how to make the perfect snowball, teach you how to stay physically fit, write well, and invite and encourage you to try new things with me.

Do these things make me different? Yes. Do they make me unique? Yes. Do they make me fearfully and wonderfully made? HEAVENS YES! Not everyone will like everything I do because they aren’t me! And that’s okay! I’ve always recognized that my personality is unique. I go to great lengths to experience life the Kellie way, if just for one opportunity to smile, laugh, or experience freedom. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not about to waste the gift of who I’ve been created to be because no body else will enjoy me WITH me! My life, like yours, is designed to filter enjoyment, encouragement and, ultimately, healing to others. If you aren’t one that my personality and gifts reach, then that’s okay. They will reach somebody else.

It's easy to understand that the process of learning how to enjoy who you are can be intimidating. If you’re like me, you will hit bumps from time to time wondering why you feel like an outsider and you’ll begin frowning upon what you love because no body else loves it. You’ll spend endless time hoping to meet someone with the same passions who is willing to step along side of you, all the while stomping on the rejection card that often says “What you love is ridiculous. No body else loves it. You might as well give it up because it’s not worth enjoying”. But setting those lies aside, I’ve learned that even when it seems like I have to beg people to join me in what I love to do I’m still going to love what I love because the very passions that are cradled within my heart were given to me with purpose. I remain confident that I love what I do for a reason, and I will NOT compromise that for anybody.

So what about learning to participate in the passions of others? I certainly attest to the fact that a lack of experience and knowledge for what other people love can be so intimidating or unpleasing that you don’t even want to give it the benefit of having your first try. But, the truth is, embarrassment and shame of not knowing how to do certain activities can rob you of having a memorable time and learning something. In my relationships, I want to show evidence of being passionate about what others are passionate about because I want to be closer with them. I want to learn how to love them on a deeper level by meeting them in a place that is safe to them. If befriending a new person means I will paint on a canvas for the first time in my life, I will do it with her because it’s what she loves to do and it shows her that I care about who she is and what she loves. All of this comes down to sacrificial love. Are you willing to sacrifice your time and desires to engage in sharing the joys of others?

I am not ashamed of not knowing the things I have yet to learn, and I am not ashamed of loving who I am and what I love. To me, the key to being content with who you are, regardless of how other people respond to you, is to choose not to dwell on the dreams and gifts you weren’t given, but to learn to love and develop those you were. And finally, if you want to truly love who you are and what you love, you must not compare yourself with other people. Talk about circling in a vicious cycle of rejection! If you do that you’ll walk away discouraged, and you’ll never learn what being you is all about.

So, start enjoying what you enjoy, and save the world from another clone of somebody else. Be who you are, enjoy what you enjoy, and love it in the process!