Hero

Back in the sweet ol' town of Reynoldsville, during the crisp summers of the mid 1990's you were sure to hear kids playing on the allys, eggs hitting houses, parents yelling "DINNNNER!" at the top of their lungs, Kellie and Shannon fighting, but most importantly, little girls singing their hearts out in their bedroom to Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. Most of the time the voices weren't ear catching, but parents listened as they went along with their business, simply to add a chuckle to their day. So, who was included in the "little girls"? You guessed it! Meeeeee!

My voice wasn't good persay, but I used whatever energy within me to produce a loud "noise" - one that was unexpectedly sure to be heard a mile way. Every opportunity that was available those summers were made expanding the seriously non-talented vocal chords inside my throat. Because my parents decided to take the innocently sweet way of avoiding the "you suck" conversation, it took me a while to figure out why Tucker, the town cop, was at our house nearly every three to four months telling us to "keep the noise down". [Riiiiiiiiiight. It all makes sense, now... ah, the delight of what you learn when you become an AH-DULT]

By the time I was a mid-teen my voice had deepened a little, my bed was worn from all the jumping and the walls were cracking (from the lovely voice, of course... In all seriousness, though, my proof is in the pudding! Brit knows allll about these 'ol Mariah Carey singing days so I highly recommend you ask her how productive we were with our time aside from the barbie-doll playing, "cow-a-bunga" swingset game, and my FAV gave EVER, chasing her older brother and his friends around)! She can testify to the dancing on the bed and the out-of-this-world singing to Mariah Carey's new #1 hit "Always Be My Baby". We may notta been the next Mariah's, but our range was... awesome.

You can probably tell that one of my favorite artists was Mariah Carey. Over and over again I sang my favorite song, Hero, only because the words had easily clung in my brain and I simply liked the melody. The song always remained special to me, without any understanding or reason, and it was a long fourteen years later that my eyes were awakened with the significance of its lyrics. It happened on my way home from church while my roomate popped in Mariah's cd and "Hero" came on. I went from laughing to becoming silent. My eyes welled up with tears and my heart filled with thanksgiving and joy. I couldn't understand why it had taken me so long to REALLY listen to the words and grasp the power behind its message. It dawned on me that day Who my Hero had been all along. He hadn't just rescued me when I was 20, but He'd been my Hero since I was a little girl singing to Him without even knowing it. Everything became evidently clear and although this seems to be such a simple principle it becomes the deepest revelation when you take a moment to re-examine your life.

As I heard the song my mind couldn't help but rewind to my childhood days. I think I was about 14 when I accepted Jesus into my life on my dad's couch, around 5:45am one morning before school. It wasn't unusual for me to awaken early to watch Joyce Meyer on TV before heading to the bus stop because she was my new favorite "old lady"! I prayed the prayer with her that morning and over the next few years my Dad and I went to church on and off. We attended services at a non-denominational church for a while after the divorce and that was as far as it went. I knew OF Jesus, but I didn't KNOW Him. I never learned of a real, living relationship with Him until I reached my breaking point after turning 20 and tried "the church thing", for a third time in my life. Only at the place of complete surrender on my part - weeping and saturated in hopless tears; deperately crying out for truth, signficance and emotional healing, of the least of all my needs, was I able to understand the real meaning of the word Hero.

(Before you read this I encourage you to purchase Mariah's song, Hero, on iTunes and really listen to its lyrics)Here are the lyrics of the song, jumbled with a few of my words, much like a diary entry. It reflects what I recognized this past Sunday afternoon.
"My strength comes from my Hero. He lives inside of me. But it took me 20 years to truly look inside my heart, setting aside all fear of facing the junk that was inside. The Answer was within my soul the entire time, waiting to melt away my sorrow. My Hero was coming along side of me, armed with Strength, wanting me to cast my fear on Him knowing that I can only survive with Him. When hope was gone, I could look insde and be strong because that's where He was. There I could see the Truth: my Hero was within me the entire time. The long road came when I faced the world all alone. Without Him. Later I found Real Love, when I searched within myself. He was waiting there all along. The emptiness disappeared. When my Hero came along this time, He came armed with all the Strength I needed to carry on - after I cast my cares aside, I KNEW I could survive. When I felt like hope was gone, I looked inside to see the TRUTH - to see my Hero. The One Who was waiting on ME! *Dreams are hard to follow, but don't let anyone tear them away* Every one knocks my dreams, but I WON'T LET THEM TEAR MY DREAMS AWAY! They were given unto me only by You, my Hero! and I WILL accomplish them through You! the One Who has stuck by my side when every one else abandoned me! You say, Hold on, there will be tomorrow. In time, (Your time) I'll find The Way. It took me way too long to find Your Way the first time, but 'll keep holding on to see I'll be on The Way tomorrow! When I feel like hope is gone, I'll look inside me and be strong and I'll finally see the Truth again, that my Hero lies in me."