(at the ranch playing "Miss Kitty" in the Virginia City skit for the girl scouts..having fun yelling at your "sheriff" boyfriend is a soothing way to get your mind off of life for a while haha)
I got back to the beach on Wednesday afternoon, unloaded my things and immediately got to work packing up my room and apartment. I spent Thursday and Friday running around looking for boxes, packing, checking out apartments, applying for more jobs and spending a few hours signing up with a temp agency since I hadn’t heard from ANY companies interested in an interview in three weeks. I’m not a big fan of temp agencies, but I was desperate. By Saturday I was completely exhausted from the past few weeks, all the travel, and my mind and heart just needed a rest, so I took my Sabbath on Saturday. Thankfully, it was beautiful outside, so I relaxed at the beach for a few hours, then had dinner and watched a movie with Jenna. I love the Lord for commanding us to REST!
Monday morning came sooner than I thought, and I was back at the ranch, thankfully!
I feel so free to be me out there. There’s something about doing what you love and being who you are that makes you enjoy creation in a whole new light. I find myself worshipping God more at the ranch than I ever thought I could while working. Basically, I was relieved to be back. When Taylor saw me, she ran up to me and gave me the biggest, longest hug ever. It’s amazing how a hug from a 14 year old young woman can change your world in an instant. She’s so special to me. Then Tim (my amazing boss) gave me the biggest hug ever, encouraged me so much and told me how much he and everyone at the ranch missed and loved me. I cried… it’s melting to know how much I’m loved and don’t even realize it. I needed hugs and love so much by the time I got there—God used my family at the ranch to console me more than THEY even realize. I felt Jesus wrap His arms around me each time someone gave me a hug, and that’s why I couldn’t help but cry. It felt so good.
It wasn’t long, though, before I ran into some more obstacles. When I’d get home and cleaned up, ready to start my night of job hunting, apartment searching, and packing, more opportunities for me to stop believing and give up snuck up faster than I could blink my eyes. My keyboard for my laptop hadn’t come yet, so I was running back and forth to the library to check my e-mail and research jobs and apartments. I’d get there and realize I forgot something at home, or left a phone number or e-mail address at home that I needed, or completely left the apartment guide on my desk, or my phone in my car… whatever it was, it was something. And something that led me to more frustration. I can’t tell you how many times I had to sit in my chair at the library, take a deep breath and close my eyes, replaying scripture in my mind so I didn’t go crazy. Part of me wanted to stand up and scream swear words so loud, but I clenched my teeth, and chose better words instead ;)
I think all of this is taking more of a toll on my body than I realize. I woke up around 2:30am the other night throwing up, with intense stomach pain and weakness all over my body. I didn’t end up falling asleep until after 6am. Usually, I’m up at 5:45am getting ready to leave for the ranch, so I had to text in and let them know I wouldn’t be in until later in the morning. When I woke up, I was still extremely queasy, but went anyway. I made it through two trail rides, then had to just stop. It was uncomfortable to even walk; my stomach was all over the place. Vicki told me I needed a day off, so she sent me home to rest. There’s no doubt I need rest, but I’m loosing money that I need by not being at work. That’s a bummer… Food hasn’t been my friend for a few days now, although thankfully sleep has. Water, light sugared juice and crackers are all I can keep down. I figured I could go in today, but I’m still only feeling about 60%, so I took another day to rest. During the night I couldn’t sleep, I did something I probably shouldn’t have done being as vulnerable as I was in that moment; I went to webmd.com and typed my problem and symptoms and came across something that freaked me out—a parasite that is caused from drinking contaminated water in another country (which I did, unknowingly). The doctor said I needed to be checked right away, but by the time I got home to check my e-mail, I found out that my health insurance expired on the 14th, and since I’m not a student anymore I can’t re-apply for the student health insurance. So, I can’t go to the doctor because I don’t even have money on my credit card to charge for an appointment and medication. (can’t get another credit card because they need proof of full time work for a year) I’m without insurance until I get a full-time job with benefits… which also means I can no longer get my monthly prescriptions. Another extreme frustration that I just had to leave in the hands of Jesus.
Then, a day later, I got an e-mail saying I owed the University almost $3,000. Long story short, the manager in the housing office apparently didn’t know the agreement that was made for me to leave student housing by September 1st, since I wasn’t taking classes and was planning to move, and expected me to stay and pay rent until December 1st, when the lease ends. As it stands, since I’m breaking the lease, and no one ran my situation by her, I am supposed to stay in the Commons to pay rent until December 1st… even though I found an apartment, put down the security deposit & application fee, and planned to sign my new lease and start moving things over this weekend. There is no way I can afford to take care of rent for two places, (it’s hard enough for a 1BR apartment around here), so I’m just waiting to hear back from her. This is yet another situation that I need Jesus to resolve. He will, though; it’s just a matter of time.
So, here I am. And all I can do is continue trusting God. I’m comforted by tons of others I know who are experiencing transition right now, too, but at the end of the day all I can do is believe, and remember that God is in control.
He’s the Creator of the UNIVERSE, He can certainly take care of me and my circumstances. As the Africans say, praise Jesu!
Monday morning came sooner than I thought, and I was back at the ranch, thankfully!
I feel so free to be me out there. There’s something about doing what you love and being who you are that makes you enjoy creation in a whole new light. I find myself worshipping God more at the ranch than I ever thought I could while working. Basically, I was relieved to be back. When Taylor saw me, she ran up to me and gave me the biggest, longest hug ever. It’s amazing how a hug from a 14 year old young woman can change your world in an instant. She’s so special to me. Then Tim (my amazing boss) gave me the biggest hug ever, encouraged me so much and told me how much he and everyone at the ranch missed and loved me. I cried… it’s melting to know how much I’m loved and don’t even realize it. I needed hugs and love so much by the time I got there—God used my family at the ranch to console me more than THEY even realize. I felt Jesus wrap His arms around me each time someone gave me a hug, and that’s why I couldn’t help but cry. It felt so good.
It wasn’t long, though, before I ran into some more obstacles. When I’d get home and cleaned up, ready to start my night of job hunting, apartment searching, and packing, more opportunities for me to stop believing and give up snuck up faster than I could blink my eyes. My keyboard for my laptop hadn’t come yet, so I was running back and forth to the library to check my e-mail and research jobs and apartments. I’d get there and realize I forgot something at home, or left a phone number or e-mail address at home that I needed, or completely left the apartment guide on my desk, or my phone in my car… whatever it was, it was something. And something that led me to more frustration. I can’t tell you how many times I had to sit in my chair at the library, take a deep breath and close my eyes, replaying scripture in my mind so I didn’t go crazy. Part of me wanted to stand up and scream swear words so loud, but I clenched my teeth, and chose better words instead ;)
I think all of this is taking more of a toll on my body than I realize. I woke up around 2:30am the other night throwing up, with intense stomach pain and weakness all over my body. I didn’t end up falling asleep until after 6am. Usually, I’m up at 5:45am getting ready to leave for the ranch, so I had to text in and let them know I wouldn’t be in until later in the morning. When I woke up, I was still extremely queasy, but went anyway. I made it through two trail rides, then had to just stop. It was uncomfortable to even walk; my stomach was all over the place. Vicki told me I needed a day off, so she sent me home to rest. There’s no doubt I need rest, but I’m loosing money that I need by not being at work. That’s a bummer… Food hasn’t been my friend for a few days now, although thankfully sleep has. Water, light sugared juice and crackers are all I can keep down. I figured I could go in today, but I’m still only feeling about 60%, so I took another day to rest. During the night I couldn’t sleep, I did something I probably shouldn’t have done being as vulnerable as I was in that moment; I went to webmd.com and typed my problem and symptoms and came across something that freaked me out—a parasite that is caused from drinking contaminated water in another country (which I did, unknowingly). The doctor said I needed to be checked right away, but by the time I got home to check my e-mail, I found out that my health insurance expired on the 14th, and since I’m not a student anymore I can’t re-apply for the student health insurance. So, I can’t go to the doctor because I don’t even have money on my credit card to charge for an appointment and medication. (can’t get another credit card because they need proof of full time work for a year) I’m without insurance until I get a full-time job with benefits… which also means I can no longer get my monthly prescriptions. Another extreme frustration that I just had to leave in the hands of Jesus.
Then, a day later, I got an e-mail saying I owed the University almost $3,000. Long story short, the manager in the housing office apparently didn’t know the agreement that was made for me to leave student housing by September 1st, since I wasn’t taking classes and was planning to move, and expected me to stay and pay rent until December 1st, when the lease ends. As it stands, since I’m breaking the lease, and no one ran my situation by her, I am supposed to stay in the Commons to pay rent until December 1st… even though I found an apartment, put down the security deposit & application fee, and planned to sign my new lease and start moving things over this weekend. There is no way I can afford to take care of rent for two places, (it’s hard enough for a 1BR apartment around here), so I’m just waiting to hear back from her. This is yet another situation that I need Jesus to resolve. He will, though; it’s just a matter of time.
So, here I am. And all I can do is continue trusting God. I’m comforted by tons of others I know who are experiencing transition right now, too, but at the end of the day all I can do is believe, and remember that God is in control.
He’s the Creator of the UNIVERSE, He can certainly take care of me and my circumstances. As the Africans say, praise Jesu!
2 comments:
..Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him.
..and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind. Elisha saw this and cried out, "My father! My father! The chariots and horsemen of Israel!" And Elisha saw him no more.
I believe you have walked with God as Enoch and as Elijah, but God is taking you through a whirlwind and is taking you up to the place where Kellie is no more, and the double portion of God's Spirit is on you. That you will walk in a new realm of Spiritual Authority and power and triumph.
Luke 24
49I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high."
The Ascension
50When he had led them out to the vicinity of Bethany, he lifted up his hands and blessed them. 51While he was blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven. 52Then they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. 53And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God.
Wow, I just now read this.. thank you!!! God awoke me just last night to tell me what you just said, He's anointed me with a double portion, is increasing the prophetic in my life and has given me healing hands! whew-wee!!!! Thanks again!!!
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